for the first time in one's life
to corner; to drive to the wall; to run down; to track down; to chase after
to go pale; to grow pale; to lose color; to turn white
feeling heavy in the head; heavy-headed; sick with worry
willpower; energy; vitality
use; utilization; utilisation; application
another person; other people; unrelated person (i.e. not related by blood); outsider; stranger
repetition; iteration; recursion; recurrence; recapitulation
to memorize; to memorise; to learn; to pick up; to feel; to think
notebook; memo pad; certificate; identification card
readiness; preparedness; resolution; resignation
bomb; alcohol with liquor added (esp. wine-based shōchū highball, also beer with whiskey)
to put one's palms together (e.g. when praying or asking for something); to place one's hands together; to compete against somebody; to play (a game, match, etc.) against somebody
inexcusable; unjustifiable; sorry; remorseful; excuse me; (I'm) sorry
unintentionally; unconsciously; by mistake; heedlessly; against one's better judgement (judgment)
weird; ominous; eerie; uncanny; ghastly
via; through; by doing; by means of; using
physiological; physical; visceral; instinctive; in one's guts
disgust; hate; repugnance; loathing
cruel; heartless; violent; intense; very bad; terrible
it cannot be helped; there's nothing for it; it's no use fighting back; it's hopeless; there is no way out of it
self-hatred; self-abhorrence; self-loathing
to lurk; to hover in the background; to be coiled up; to stretch tortuously
looking directly at; looking straight at; looking squarely at (e.g. a problem); facing (e.g. the truth); normal vision; emmetropia
same kind (race); homogeneousness
real feeling; actual feeling; to actually feel; to have a real feeling (that ...); to experience personally
as (e.g. "do as one is told", "as we age we gain wisdom"); wherever (e.g. "wherever my fancy took me")
depression; melancholy; dejection; gloom; despondency
somehow or other; for some reason or another; without knowing why
to cross (legs or arms); to link (arms); to put together; to construct; to braid; to plait; to grapple
foot; paw; leg; gait; pace; bottom structural component (i.e. radical) of a kanji; (arch.) money
with a clash; with a thud; unexpectedly (meeting someone); suddenly (ending); abruptly (coming to a halt)
part of the eyebrow closest to the nose
century; hundred years; (fig.) a long time
not less than; ... and over; beyond (e.g. one's expectations); above; above-mentioned; aforementioned
mutual aid; cooperation; benefit
discovery; detection; finding
ten; 10; ten years of age
this is why; this means; it is the case that
named after; associated with; connected with